I'm evolving. As a human. You heard me.
'How can I know for sure?' you ask. And I'll tell you...
One of my faults is my over-developed defense mechanisms. While a defense mechanism can be quite necessary, saving one from all sorts of emotional damage, mine is a touch overzealous.
In an effort to keep my confidence soaring high, unbridled by pesky insecurities, my defense mechanism will reject and/or completely shred the ego offender to bits.
You see, if I'm good at something, and by good, I mean totally awesome and better than most, my heart sings joyous praise of my new favorite hobby/game/sport.
However, if I am not good at something, and by not good, I mean mediocre, a total loser, or even just third place, then my defense mechanism completely and utterly disavows the entire activity. You're likely to hear a very sharp-tongued and witty and intelligent-sounding diatribe prolonged only in direct proportion to my failure or loss or fear.
Most people who know me grow weary of these lengthy analyzations as to why golf or chess or scuba diving (which I respectively have failed at, lossed at, and fear) are complete and utter wastes of time. Illogical at best and ridiculous at worst.
On the other hand, ping-pong and roller skating (both at which I excel) rise above the rest. I got me buckets full of good words for these useful and high-minded activities.
My point? Oh yes, that. So, as you all know, since this blog inception and my subsequent to-do list (see sidebar "progress report"), I've failed on several occasions. And by failed, I mean not done my goal list 100% totally awesome completely fail-safe.
Due to my very developed aforementioned defense mechanism combined with an equally developed i-can-justify-anything-if-i-want-to mechanism, I normally would quit. I mean geez, I have to protect myself.
Soooo, since I have neither quit nor abandoned nor succeeded to the standards I so desire, I consider this evolution. Aha!
p.s. I also did a Bollywood dance video today on exerciseTV. Critique: total thumbs up. bollywood is the best. perhaps the most evolved and beat-centric dancing of our century. and probably the most arm sculpting. Disclaimer: I also ROCKED at it, so you can't really trust me.
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