Friday, June 12, 2009

Day Two - Wait for it...

Today is Day Two of this 365 days of change. Do I feel different? No. Writing this, writing here, doesn't change me. I'm saddened by that. Isn't it enough to just SAY what's up, what's next?

Gearing up mentally for Monday--it's quit day. Stage one of multiple complex goals that lead to, who knows. For now, I'm enjoying my cigarettes. Relishing them actually. Thinking that maybe, perhaps, days won't be the same without them. The interior junkie is obnoxious, a sometimes friend. This junkie also likes pizza and pepperoni and won't go down without a fight. It's a weak day--a day without enlightment. Thoughts are small and repetitive. I need more coffee. Cheers to you, Junkie, I'll think of you in the quiet moments before bed.

Waiting for a call for a j.o.b. This is another portion of the 'do this first, then do that,' goal matrix I now own in my head. Normally, these things can be patterned out, portioned into an outline...1, then 2, and 3. But logically, I can't find the timeline. Do them all simultaneously? Or one by one? I hear the words of smart others, "don't have too many goals at one time." Recipe for failure, they say. But I'm afraid not to.











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