I almost forgot I quit smoking, until I realized I mowed down two plates of pizza rolls, one mini frozen pizza, half a bagel with cream cheese, two diet cokes, two cookies, and a banana--all by mid-afternoon. Well o.k., truth be told, I really didn't even realize it completely until I called up Dave and asked him to pick me up a chocolate malt and french fries on his way home from work. Even though I was stuffed.
Then it hit me. Why was I so anxiously stuffing myself? Oh yes, that's right...I was on Day Ten of not smoking, and to replace my lung-rusting addiction, I've decided instead to kill myself via complete artery clognation. Hurray!
And soooo...it reminds me that I got only a short leash left on the white sugar carb train. My healthy eating foray begins on Monday. I gave myself two weeks of shoveling face after quitting smoking to ease the pain of letting go. Right now, I can definitely say, as Monday sprints at me, I am questioning my sanity.
However, in the spirit of trial-by-fire human research, I am starting to notice a very defined pattern in all this goal-setting business. It seems before every new implementation, there's always wild internal mind resistance. Lots of reasons why not. Can'ts and won't works.
And while this particular goal actually might deserve the largest amount of real fear, considering it will probably be hands-down the hardest to maintain/sustain, I do believe, I am starting to not give a flying fuck.
To the future and beyond! (o.k. I might've had too much sugar today AND perhaps I'm guilty of mock bravado here AND I'll post the more specifics of my healthy eating tenents as I inch closer to the edge...)
No comments:
Post a Comment