Hello Green Birth Announcement
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Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Isn't It New
What does one say about the birth of their child? What pictures can I paint that will truly fill you in...let you in on this life change? I exhale. I believe. There's not much now to do but start...
Dear Dax,
I love you. I love you more than you can possibly know. I've seen others have children and babies and my removal from all this made me think that maybe you would be all about diapers and late nights and sacrifices. I wasn't ready for THE JOY. I wasn't ready for that switch to be flipped...the one that would do ANYTHING for you. Jump in front of trains to protect you.
This is how I feel. How quickly you've weaved yourself into the fabric of my life, how effortlessly your cry fills the space and you are as normal as living now. You have turned my life upside down. You have changed everything, and yet sometimes, I'm surprised by how life continues the same too. You are the light in my eyes. You are the realized dream of Dave and I's future. How can I try to explain this more? I can't.
You were born on October 4th in the early early morning. You were 7 and 1/2 pounds. Labor surprised me. I suffered. I strained. I gave birth to you. I knew that was the end of pregnancy, but the empty space in my belly is weird now. Seeing you here. Now. Is a dream. A miracle. I have a lump in my throat.
Parenthood is elusive. I thought I would feel older. Like marriage made me feel. I don't though. I feel younger maybe. Slightly inadequate. But more confident than I ever thought I'd feel. I am confident that I know what you need. Confident as your mother that I'll be what you need me to be. That confidence has been a surprise. I am not scared. I feel chosen by you.
And Dave. The love we felt those first few days. An intensity that made me cry when we kissed. Seeing him rock our son to sleep has been my soul's great joy.
Thank you world. For blessing me. So profoundly. I drop to my knees in reverence of these gifts I've been given. As my family surrounds me now--the uncles and aunts and grandparents rally around our home to love you. What love. What love I feel now. Thank you world. Thank you.
Forever and ever and ever,
yours.
Dear Dax,
I love you. I love you more than you can possibly know. I've seen others have children and babies and my removal from all this made me think that maybe you would be all about diapers and late nights and sacrifices. I wasn't ready for THE JOY. I wasn't ready for that switch to be flipped...the one that would do ANYTHING for you. Jump in front of trains to protect you.
This is how I feel. How quickly you've weaved yourself into the fabric of my life, how effortlessly your cry fills the space and you are as normal as living now. You have turned my life upside down. You have changed everything, and yet sometimes, I'm surprised by how life continues the same too. You are the light in my eyes. You are the realized dream of Dave and I's future. How can I try to explain this more? I can't.
You were born on October 4th in the early early morning. You were 7 and 1/2 pounds. Labor surprised me. I suffered. I strained. I gave birth to you. I knew that was the end of pregnancy, but the empty space in my belly is weird now. Seeing you here. Now. Is a dream. A miracle. I have a lump in my throat.
Parenthood is elusive. I thought I would feel older. Like marriage made me feel. I don't though. I feel younger maybe. Slightly inadequate. But more confident than I ever thought I'd feel. I am confident that I know what you need. Confident as your mother that I'll be what you need me to be. That confidence has been a surprise. I am not scared. I feel chosen by you.
And Dave. The love we felt those first few days. An intensity that made me cry when we kissed. Seeing him rock our son to sleep has been my soul's great joy.
Thank you world. For blessing me. So profoundly. I drop to my knees in reverence of these gifts I've been given. As my family surrounds me now--the uncles and aunts and grandparents rally around our home to love you. What love. What love I feel now. Thank you world. Thank you.
Forever and ever and ever,
yours.
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