The little dude in my belly is all over the place. How big could he possibly be? I feel him from my ribs to my pelvis. He rolls and kicks. The intimacy of it is such an internal joy. Such a complete satisfaction.
Having him growing up in my insides makes me feel so grown-up. Not on an intellectual level--I'm not just saying things. I mean I really feel different. Like I am on the cusp of a new identity. I'll never come back from it. I know this. I welcome this. I fear this.
I had a beautiful day today, unpacking boxes and shuffling the office around. The presence of my brother helps quell the loneliness. It takes the edge off my desperation. Normally, when Dave gets home I'm like an abandoned puppy. I can't even stop myself from chewing on his leg. So I am grateful that conversation with other humans has calmed me thus far. I imagine Dave is grateful too although he's so damn sweet he'd never admit he noticed my child-like attention needs.
It also makes my pregnancy more real, to actually be around people who can see that yes, it's true, I'm actually pregnant. I don't have to status-update on Facebook to remind you. You see it every day. That's another reason I loved my sister's visit. That's a reason I enjoyed my Phoenix visit. And that's the reason I'll enjoy that barbeque tomorrow. When it's more real in the world, it feels more real to me.
I finally found the cord to my camera in one of the boxes I unpacked. I have much to show you!
6 comments:
Happy that you are happy!
My whole world changed as well when I became a mother. I could feel it again when you wrote that. You're right - you never go back. And I don't mind one bit.
nice blog today, i imagine you rubbing your tummy, thinkng about your little guy who we are all anxious to meet.
Am thrilled about the camera cord! Makes me believe that I might get some pictures! I'll have my camera ready and waiting for the end of the month! This should be fun! and i can't wait! lov, mome
Can't wait to see pictures!
Glad to hear you are doing so well. You seem very happy and healthy and those are both excellent, wonderful things :)
This is the start of something new and wonderful within the world of motherhood. I wish you all the best on your journey there!
I really can feel your joy. I dream on occasion that I'm pregnant - which is totally impossible - and I feel sad it was just a dream.
And please - be as snap happy with the camera as much as possible...! They grow so quickly!
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