While life as a wife is pretty lovely (and pretty much almost exactly the same as before), I worry that I'm slip-sliding into complete domestification. Then I remember no no, that's impossible. I'll always be lacking in at least one area of Darcy Stewart-dom...
I can't really clean worth a damn.
If I pick something up, take it out, open it--anything--you better believe I'll leave it on the counter. I don't know why. I get it. It's annoying. Gross even. Have you seen dried up bits of oranges on a countertop? Right next to the used knife of course. If I try something on from my closet and decide against it, it goes on the floor.
None of it's premeditated. I seriously just don't go beyond the "I need this" stage. Once I've exhausted its usefulness, it seems to just drop from my consciousness completely. Only to reappear in some ghastly moment of epiphany, "BY GAWD, this house is a mess."
I've frustrated many a' roommate and family member with my slovenly ways. When old roommates of mine get together, there's sure to be a "Darcy sure is messy" story. Where they all laugh together hysterically and one-up each other with their stories of how slobby they think I am. hahahah.... Yeah, that IS funny. Again. No, seriously, it never gets old.
Mind you, I'm also aesthetically insane. Light and color and furniture matter to me. So when the house is washed and vacuumed, it feels cozy and serene--all the shapes and colors in a quiet crescendo. It's when I have no time to think about hangers and dishwashers that plastic grocery bags get dropped on the floor.
I'm lucky I have met Dave. Because he's really not the cleanest either, so we tend to not really care if the other is not washing or drying or wiping or mopping. Truth be told, I'm probably the more clutter-prone of the two, but make up for it by more sink scrubbings. The bottom line is, there's few times we fuss about it.
In Phoenix, it's self-awareness that inspired us to periodically hire a couple of friends of ours with a cleaning business to visit our two bedroom abode. They polished our tubs and windows, baseboards and ceiling fans, oven tops and coffee pots. We considered it an investment--buying back time and peace of mind.
This is a very important aspect of our relationship. One that few think of when determining a long-term mate. Differences in cleanliness (without resolution) can make people go batty. I've watched people unravel, developing coiled knots of resentment and anger at their friends or mates, threatening the very foundation of their love.
Naturally tidy people do not at all understand this plight of the disorganized. The offender's messy ways give them heart murmurs and hernias. If you're a true neat freak, this blog is probably giving you nightmares.
I realize that cleanliness is the preferred choice. I mean, I'm not crazy. I just don't care enough to change enough. I've tried and failed faster than you can say 'Windex.' It simply takes too much concentrated brain power. I know that sounds loopy to you, but listen: my messiness is as natural to me as cleanliness is to you.
So ultimately, I'm crossing my fingers that we break down here in San Diego and buy someone else's time. Because let's face it, someone's got to do it.
11 comments:
Please don't take this as catty, because I am messy too, but maybe it's time for a new goal.
Goal: 1 Cleaning day per week where D & D take some time to pick up.
I am being sarcastic when I tell you that I am worried for you. After reading this, do you know what children do to homes? I know my house could be/would be clean if I didn't have a 2 year old to chase after. I pick up during naps and bedtime. Sometimes I get up early to stay on top of it, for him to turn around and smash his snack into the new carpet, purposefully drag everything out of cupboards and drawers, and sometimes pee on the carpet between diaper changes. It drives us crazy, but it's also apart of this kid thing.
Good luck to you (and me) on our never-ending cleaning journey!
It is so nice and refreshing to hear you take responsiblity for your habit of not picking up or cleaning........instead of blaming the "cleaning fairy" that used to happen by from time to time.
Who loves you just the way you are.
erica: lol, ur totally right. i'll ask dave if he wants to. we used to do that and it seemed to work, both of us working together on it on like fridays or something. but when i quit working for awhile, i became the not-very-good-at-my-job cleaner person. so now that i'm working again, perhaps we'll re-up that tradition. but a cleaner is so nice! we just have to wait until it's in the budget. soon i hope!
Anonymous (er, mom): don't speak too soon! just wait till you read Part Two of this series. It's called "Why I blame my mother" hehehhe...
Thanks for your nice comment on my blog today. Things will work out, that is for sure. One part of staying home that I do not like is ultimately feeling responsible for the cleanliness of this place. It's stupid really, I can't stay up to it on my own, but I do put that pressure on myself. I wish I could afford a house cleaner. My neighbor ladies say it's worth the expense, but I don't know what kind of dough they are rolling in! If they have that laying around (and they are stay at home moms), I wish they would just put some of that extra cash under my door mat or something.
AMEN!
(need I say more?)
can't wait for "part two "!
erica: i hear you, when i wasn't working, i felt it was my responsibility to clean the place. i didn't do very good! i know some people who pay someone for two hours a week at ten bucks an hour...so 20 bucks a week for four weeks? 80 bucks a month? that's a little bit (still a luxury tho!) more doable, but where do they find these flexible affordable cleaners??!! craigslist? idk...
stac: yes, u need say more ;-)
mom (er, i mean anonymous): i love you more than 10,001 B-52s.
It's just so self-defeating. It's going to get dirty again, no matter what.
Wow, she actually admitted she might be the messier one! I'm shocked! Yes, I have similar tendancies...its really just making a habit of putting things back after you've taken them out...so simple right? Funny how the simple things can be such a "chore" ;)
So growing up with my two sisters, i got the combination of both worlds. Every few weeks I alternate between being a complete neurotic clean freak (Stacy, hehe) to totally not even realizing the place has turned into a complete pigsty (Darcy). It's like some weird switch in my head flips on and off. Hrm...
cole: my fave bro, hmmm, so weird, i did not know this about you. I am pleased to know you come to the dark side every now and again.
Post a Comment