2012: Forwards and Reflections, Three Lists

HAPPY NEW YEAR! While 2010 was The Year of Dax, 2011 definitely was a Year of Transition. Becoming a mother to Dax turned my world upside down. While I birthed him in 2010, it was 2011 that truly challenged & changed my core being. I learned that most of what I missed doing pre-child (staying up late, watching TV series marathons, going out with friends spontaneously, leisurely travel) were a thing of the past. And I learned to accept that.

I learned what it meant to be responsible for another human being, I felt the weight of that become part of Who I Am. I learned how to find time with my husband, the love of my life, and I learned that my love for him only gets deeper and stronger with each shared experience.

I learned to trust my instincts and forget the rest. He is my child and mostly, I gotta go with my gut. I learned that with that comes a certain amount of assertiveness I'm not used to. I learned that I gotta get more hard-headed about what's right for Dax according to ME (and Dave of course!). I also learned that every other mother in the world has the same damn right. Give her that same respect. At the same time, I learned to be open to ideas, because sometimes I simply just do not know the answer.

Without further ado, the lists....

Ten Highlights 2011:

1. Probably the biggest was our cruise with our family to the Southern Caribbean with our then 8 month old. What an incredible & beautiful experience to share with my loved ones. We saw Puerto Rico, Antigua, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, Barbados, St. Croix i.e. some of the most gorgeous place on earth. A highlight of my life.

2. My third niece, Pria Ann, being born on August 12. I am so thankful that she is healthy and am constantly amazed by how big the heart can get to fit in all these new little beings in our lives!

3. I joined a well-organized and tight-knit stay-at-home mom's meetup.com group that always has lots of fun and different stuff on the calendar. The playdates I've attended and moms I have met have helped smooth the transition from mehood to mommyhood. I anticipate building some long-term friendships with some of these lovely girls.

4. My cousin Josh got married in September, so we traveled to Fargo to attend the wedding. It was so cool to see all of my cousins and our little ones play together. I also got to see my grandma & lots of my aunts and uncles I haven't seen for awhile. It was an awesome celebration. (Bonus: I hear my cousin and his new wife are pregnant now!!!)

5. Taking a road trip up to Thief River Falls, Minnesota where Dave's dad and extended family live & farm on their family's homestead. I love that my mom went with us to share that time with us too. We got to see Dave's grandma & lots of his aunts & uncles (and introduce them to Dax!). They threw an impromptu bday party for Dax and showered him with clothes and toys.

6. The weekend of Dax's first birthday party and baptism. Everyone from Minnesota & Alaska & Arizona came and our house was filled with celebration & love. I also loved his absolutely beautiful & precious baptism in our backyard, facilitated by the same man who married Dave & I, who flew in from AZ.

7. Another year of countless visitors! You name it--family & friends--it never ended! Two of my Bff's from AZ, Kasey & Beth, visited me twice this year. Dave's friends visited & the Blue family visited. Dave's dad & brother & mom. My dad & stepmom & siblings. My mom & sis & three nieces--Nova, Pria, and Tatum. Extended family visited too. San Diego sure doesn't lack in people who want to come here (although Dax prolly helps too :-)).

8. Five trips to see family. Two trips to MN (one in May for sister's baby shower & another for Pria's birth in September). Two trips to AZ (one in March for friend's wedding & another in June for Father's Day). One trip to Alaska at Christmastime (I LOVED spending time at the farm up there with Dave's family and watching Dax have such a ball was so much fun--he LOVED all the animals!)

9. Finding balance. Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law, we were able to interview and hire a sitter for a once-a-month date night. We found the perfect person for our family and have been enjoying a night on the town! I also joined a gym near our house that I can walk to that has playcare and even drop-off times in case I need to run some errands. Also, my brother is now watching Dax once a month during the day so we can have some free time. I anticipate this will all just keep getting better and better, although I still wish with all my might that we had a grandma or aunt around that we could get some more relief.

10. Watching Dax reach major milestones has been such a huge joy this year. Rolling over. Sitting up. Walking. SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. And now starting to try to talk! It has been so cool to see him grow & change from an infant into a toddler--what a miracle life is.

Reflections:
Here's is my list from last year, in review....

1) That Dave moves closer to his actual profession. His happiness is so important to me & our family & our future. Yes! Dave, in all his free time (omg how did he do it?!), studied for and got his California Real Estate License. We are one-step closer to him getting back into the profession he loves! 

2) That I find some way, some how, to build some income for myself. Um, yeah right, unless you count selling used cloth diapers on diaperswappers or old baby stuff on craigslist, then I'm pretty much unable to earn a single dime. Will modify for next year.

3) That I start something altruistic that will change the world. or my community. Yea, no. I quit the only volunteer thing I was doing. WTF? 

4) Make exercise a part of my daily life. for health. for life. Absolutely. I walk all the time with Dax. He loves to go outside and so do I. I have only hit a few yoga classes this year, but with new gym membership, I'm thinking this will change.

5) Continue working on healthy food living. Cook more. Eat more locally grown. Consume less crap. Food is life.  Because carting around a baby is hard to do & sucks away the budget, I eat at home almost 95% of the time and prolly ate better this year than I have any other year of my life. We also are almost exclusively getting our fruits & veggies from the local farmer's market, so that Dax and us stay pretty seasonal and local. 

6) Change the way we buy. Try to buy & eat from small businesses. Buy more used.  Use $$$ to create world I want to live in.  No Doubt! I get most baby stuff used. I am trying to shop less at big chain groceries and instead buy at places like Trader Joe's (which I know is everywhere, but I love them and they rock and I never want them to leave). I am trying to check the desire to purchase new things and only assess need, not want. I still have a ways to go on this goal, but feel like I've made significant progress this year. 

7) Get a handle on sleep. Dax has turned our world upside-down and sleep is very, very elusive. I believe it's possible to regain some of it with a healthy dose of education and consistency. YES!!! Dax starting sleeping through the night at the ripe old age of 13 months. 

8) Balance. Keep relationship with Dave lovely by making time for each other sans baby. Find group of SAHMs with young kids so I don't feel trapped at home i.e. make mom friends! For sure! Well, Dave and I still need a lot more time for each other, but we've made gains by finding a sitter and utilizing my bro. Also did join a group of SAHMs and am making mom friends galore! 

9) Friendships. Build some friendships here in San Diego. Try to be more in touch with the good friends that I do have.  I would say I'm iffy on this one. While I have the seeds of friendships here in San Diego, we still haven't really taken roots yet. I truly believe that now that Dax is a little more self-sufficient, that some of the potential friendships will grow deeper this year. It takes awhile to grow a true friendship! In terms of staying in touch with friends I do have in other states? Um, so-so. I call and see when I can and send cards, but prolly could call more. 

10) Think progress, not perfection. Major fail. I am a bit too hard on myself. 


Forwards: my dreams, hopes, & goals for 2012


1). That we sell my old pick-up truck and buy a car! We need another four-door car so Dave doesn't have to haul my little purple truck down to Spring Valley every day! 
2) That Dave moves ever closer to his career goals: building on his client list and sales so he can finally make the cut from his current job. 
3) That I finish a 365-page draft of my first novel. That's a page a day--I can do that i can do it i can do it. 
4) That I grow & birth another healthy child--that's right, we're ready folks! 
5)  Continue making healthy lifestyle choices by increasing my vegetable intake (and Dax's!), trying new healthy recipes, going to yoga more, & trying to meditate more. 
6) That I grow more in my spiritual life, either by finding a place to improve relationship with God or by simply praying more or finding a way to maintain the focus on a more consistent basis.
7) Read more! Whereas last year I clocked in prolly like five books :-(, I intend this year to read at least 20! 
8) Waste less time. Cut out as much bullshit as possible. Biggest time wasters? Reality TV (confession: Beverly Hills Housewives and the Kardashians anyone?!) and mindless internet browsing. 
9) Find more personal time & time with Dave. I feel desperate for both of these. We've made some gains, but far from enough to make the soul feel quite right. 
10) Continue to build on my current relationships here and away. Go see my cousin James & his wife Kristen more in San Clemente (ps another highlight of 2011 is they had a healthy baby girl!). Spend time building new friendships here from my mom's group. Get a sitter & go out to dinner with our other friends more. Call out-of-state friends and family more. 
11) That we get through this next year of toddlerdom with joyful hearts :-).


HAPPY 2012 family, friends, and blogging friends!