I feel like we're hitting a wall lately. I totally felt like we were kind of getting everything under control, but the last few days I feel like Dax has regressed so much in the sleep department. I can barely get 10 minutes to myself. At night, he wakes up like a newborn. What is going on?
We did go cold turkey on the car seat, but I really did feel like he was ready for that. Now, today, I am not so sure. He is waking up right now in his crib. You know, from his 10 minute nap. He must be all sorts of rested. Ugh.
Days like today I feel like parenthood blows. I am so tired I want to ram my face into a wall.
For the last couple months, I have been nursing him to sleep and then putting him down. It's been wonderful, fantastic, and easy. However, lately I feel like he is waking up between every sleep cycle to nurse back down. I can't keep doing this. I am going crazy.
Here's me trying to count my blessings: Dax is healthy and adorable and I love my husband and am happy I can stay home and my family is so good to us too. I heart San Diego.
Anyone have any perspective to offer me? I feel thisclose to tears...
When does this get easier? Ever? Never? Does everyone go through this? I am mad at myself for feeling so out of control blah today.
The End. Ugh.
10 comments:
First everything you are feeling is 100% normal and completely rational.. its the moments like these nobody talks about yet its the moments like these that really hurt your ego and role as a mother.. it gets better, not sure easier because I still have days were I feel like im loosing it and its just new challenges..
but the one thing I can tell you is we did sleep training with Liv at around 4 months and it did wonders for us.. we waited until 4 months becasue by that point they are suppose to go through the night without eating.. worked wonders
it gets easier, and it never gets easier. :)
do you use a swaddle blanket? my oldest son used one until he was 6 months old. totally loved that thing. it may be too late if you don't already use it.
do you, um...cough, um, cough ever cough let him cough sleep cough on his stomach cough coughcoughcoughcoughcough?
Rylin does this a LOT too. She used to only nap in my arms but I finally got her to nap in the swing. She still has to take a bottle to fall asleep and some days she'll nap an hour or more in the swing but today is one of those days were it is only in 20 increments max and is so cranky because of it! I too find myself counting my blessings but on the verge of tears on days like today! Your not alone hang in there and please keep updating on what is and isn't working for you.
It does get much easier. So much so that you will forget what hell this is. I promise.
"Mama said that there'd be dates like this!" and there is nothing like a crying baby to stress a new nursing mom. This too shall pass. He might be in a growth spurt, he might be coming down with a cold. He might just be reacting to you reacting. Remember to check the time if he has nursed for 30 minutes, and he's waking 15 minutes later. Let him fuss. Give him at least 10 minutes alone to see if he can't self sooth. And yes I do know how torturous these minutes are. IF you are sure that honestly he just can't be hungry, then ten minutes alone in his bed might be enough for him to fall back asleep. And one day, there will be other phases to make you crazy the next thing I would ask you to check is are you taking care of yourself? Are you getting enough sleep or are you staying up late to visit with Dave? Are you drinking enough water? Eating enough QUALITY calories? Making milk is hard work on a body and if you are run down, tired all of Dax's antics are so much harder to take. Take care Darcy! We who have gone before, are testament to the fact that you will get through this too!
Dear Darcy,
I hope, and am sure, you feel better today. Some days just suck, even in the Wonderful World of Motherhood. Isn't it great that you are not alone and all these other mothers have had issues also? You are the BEST MOTHER Dax could ever have. Love you, Nonnie
eva marie: thanks :-) we are really debating our options right now. it was going well and then BLAM it seemed to change but now i don't feel like i have the patience anymore to deal with the night wakings. We definitely need to do something different. What did you do for the training? Did you just let her go or did you check in periodically? How does it work now? Do you have to let her go anymore or does she just sleep?
Laura: LOL! we are going to look into swaddling again. We had stopped but he does like that closeness thing. and the on the back haven't tried yet, because he HATES tummy time so much, I haven't even thought of it for naps, but maybe if he's already sleeping he'll actually prefer it?!
etosia: thanks for sharing. i don't know why but it feel better to know that it sucks for all of us!
mwa:WHEN does this happen? ;-) I need a time a month a anything to set my brain to.
Vicki: we have been trying a little bit to let him fuss for the sheer fact that sometimes he is so hard to please! he always outlasts my ability thus far. I dont get why he fell off lately, it's so annoying. I need to manage my expectations. And no i am not taking enough time for me and dave and no i am not taking good enough care of myself and my diet ;-)! It all compounds! Dave and i have a date on thurs i am looking forward to and his mom is visiting next week to give us a break. looking very much forwards.
Nonnie: Thank you nonnie ;-) we love and miss you!
oh darling, it's like deja vu listening to your woes! every baby is different so what worked for me may not work for you but i have taken techniques from www.sleepyplanet.com [i have the sleep easy solution book] and taught my last two babies how to sleep. the important thing? self soothing. laying them down when they are awake so they learn to sleep and go back to sleep [in the middle of the night!] alone... it works wonders for the sanity when you get a good nights sleep! i know that much ;) good luck darling and i hope you find something that works for YOU.
[hugs]
pamj: Thanks ;-)! I am going to check out this website you speak of....
when does sleepy but awake work? I feel like so far, if i put him down sleepy but awake, he cries until i pick him up. he doesn't seem to want to make the leap from awake to sleep alone yet...how do i help him with that? does it happen more when they are older? i want to go from sleepy but awake to sleeping--without tears :-(
I'm reading this with Em in my arms for the 4th time tonight. Her brother is a perfect sleeper. She is a nightmare. Every baby is different and some need us more than others. I can't let her cry; it rips my guts out. I want her to know when she needs me I'm here. Bur 4 times and she's almost one!? Come on! Luckily my husband is willing to get up once at night so I will get one stretch of sleep. Try having your hubby go in. If you're still nursing he'll never learn to sleep train without eating from you! Good luck!! You're doing great
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