2011: Forwards and Reflections, Three Lists

HAPPY NEW YEAR! What a year 2010 was--definitely The Year of Dax. I conceived him, grew him, birthed him, and now care for him. How different my life is. Last year I was knee-deep in pinot noir, smoking my last cigarettes, and passing out with my sick hubby watching a Jason Bateman flick. This year there was no such idle debauchery. Only several late night attempts at getting my boy to sleep. I fumbled in the dark, strolling him around, trying to get his heavy lids to drop like the New Year's ball. And now, the year in lists... 

Ten Fave Highlights 2010

1) Finding out I was pregnant. It took six months for us to conceive, so this was pure joy.

2) Being pregnant. What a miracle. To feel a little baby inside of me. To grow & deflate.

3) Giving birth. Best day of my life. Tied with my wedding day.

4) Two baby showers: MN & CA. Gifts and parties and people fussing over Dax's arrival was so cool to feel everyone's excitement and literally be showered with gifts and well wishes.

5) Moving into this house. A rental, but we'll be here for a few years. It's beautiful & homey & in a great neighborhood & feels just right.

6) My brother moving to California and rooming with us. I consider him the first of many family members who will make the trek. Bonus: I love that he lives with us. He's one of my favorite people in the universe.

7) My niece, Nova, going to her 1st birthday in February and watching her for a week. Watching her mow down her cake. She's the most charming little being; spending that time alone with her is cherished.

8) San Francisco trip on our anniversary. We love travel and traversing this metropolitan city with my boo was aaahhmazing.

9) Visitors. Where do I begin? Every person who visited us was just so much fun--my mom, my dad, sis, nieces, stepfamily, friends, best friends, Dave's family. It felt like it never ended! A blessing.

10) One of my best friends, Bethany, her wedding festivities and wedding in Jerome, Arizona. What a blast we had. Beautiful garden wedding. Dave and I drove across the desert for this one, spent the night in the cutest one-room above the Flat Iron Cafe. I love road trips with my boo. Also, threw her a bachelorette party in Phoenix to be envied.

Last Year's Hopes, In Review
(this is from last year's hope list, which you can view original version here)

these were my dreams for 2010...

1) smoke-free, one whole year  I did it! One whole year without even a drag!

2) new home that IS a home. all this beige in my apt. bugs me out. i miss our green carpet in az. We did it! Moved into our new home in June. Love it.

3) paintings and photos and drawings that spill out into the digital atmosphere and gather money. (NOPE! I did paint and take photos and such, but no money made. I obsessed about pregnancy and didn't really try anything. This remains on the list for this year, a bit modified)

4) writing enough. writing more. writing to live. out loud. (Hmmm...I did write, but not more. If anything, less)

5) a little being in my belly that grows and then coups my heart. my life. my little baby born. We did it! Dax is the light in my eyes.

6) i want this new volunteer opportunity with foster children to spill over the brim and make me break down, make me re-grow. again. get bigger. big. larger. large. gather the whole wide world in its arms. (hmmm...I did do this, but my foster girl has kind of decided to hate me, which apparently is very common, but I am having a hard time working way into her life. Stay tuned. This volunteer thing will also be modified for next year's hopes)

7) minimize the distance between my family and i.  Brother moved here! Saw LOTS of family this year. All triumphs. But this line item is a work in progress prolly for all my life. 

8) eat food like i'm taking medicine. it's meh vitamins. it's life.  (Yes and No. In a lot of ways I got better. Fruit is almost an everyday part of my life. I've integrated whole grains like it's nobody's business. And veggies are getting better. However, pregnancy gave me a sweet tooth that needs some serious attention)

9) Start making money that doesn't depend on The Man. (Definitely did nothing of the sort. Will try again) 

10) read and believe that i will do all of these things... I spent the whole year in abundant optimism. 

Ten Hopes for Zee New Year


1) That Dave moves closer to his actual profession. His happiness is so important to me & our family & our future.

2) That I find some way, some how, to build some income for myself.

3) That I start something altruistic that will change the world. or my community.

4) Make exercise a part of my daily life. for health. for life.

5) Continue working on healthy food living. Cook more. Eat more locally grown. Consume less crap. Food is life.

6) Change the way we buy. Try to buy & eat from small businesses. Buy more used.  Use $$$ to create world I want to live in.

7) Get a handle on sleep. Dax has turned our world upside-down and sleep is very, very elusive. I believe it's possible to regain some of it with a healthy dose of education and consistency.

8) Balance. Keep relationship with Dave lovely by making time for each other sans baby. Find group of SAHMs with young kids so I don't feel trapped at home i.e. make mom friends!

9) Friendships. Build some friendships here in San Diego. Try to be more in touch with the good friends that I do have.

10) Think progress, not perfection.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!