Time has stopped completely. I am paralyzed. I can do nothing. I can think nothing but when when when will this happen? I am obsessed.
I can't believe I'm here. I'm on the fringe of mommyhood. Isn't this something other people do? Not me, there's no way I'm ready for this.
I am gathering up my little baby belongings. I am lining them against the crib. I am thumbing through his little baby closet daily. I am picking out outfits for him. I am wondering who he will be. How will I usher him through this life, as best I can, without being TOO MUCH.
I am mourning every moment of right now. Almost like the way one mourns grandparents who lived good long lives. I am sad to see this moment GO, but I know it's time.
I have a headache right now and my belly is moving like crazy. Dax is shuffling around in his amniotic hammock, making himself at home. I don't know why, but labor still feels like a ways off. I have a feeling I won't be early. Or so my intuition says. I think I'll sense when it's closer. I'll just know...
Does everyone around me feel the weight of the world shift? Do they feel the light in the air move differently? Nothing feels the same to me right now. Every moment is a moment I've never felt before. I'm knee-deep in Change.
I love you, my little buddy. I will miss you in my belly. I will miss your turns and rolls, your closeness, your safeness, you're unknown.
But right now, I want you OUT. My dear son,
I want to hear you Laugh.
7 comments:
You're such a rockstar babe! You are doing so good and its going to be a fun wild ride once we get the little guy into the world. I love you love you love you!
Very very VERY exciting!
And I know exactly what you mean about missing him in your belly.
What a GORGEOUS post. Good luck!
I love reading your posts...they make me think that maybe (like you) I'm strong enough to be a mom one day.
Is he here yet...?! Is he here yet...?!
Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!
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