Day 114 - Retail Woes

Place: A Retail Store in Anywhere, CA
Time: All day long

Anonymous Sales Associate gets treated like dogshit. Because, really, that's what retail sales associates are. Dogshit. And if you have a shitty life, you should go into any store anywhere and ask ridiculous questions that you could easily answer yourself. All day long.

If you sense any amount of impatience on the sales associate's part, you should then feel free to be a complete and utter asshole. Because you can. Complain as soon as possible. Ask to speak to their supervisor. Fill out a comment card. Tell them how you'd like them to act. Tell them what you want and why you deserve it. Let them know that you're entitled.

Act like sales associates are the enemy. Start your own mini-war in every store you go into. Emotional violence is key. Shoot your nebulous anger at your faceless targets. It's their fault. React. Be uncontrollable. Inconsolable.

You should always talk to the sales associate in a demeaning way. Assume all of them are stupid. Say, "Listen dear" to the young girls behind the counter. Scare them with your power. They aren't human anyway.

In fact, you should fling shit at them. Because that's what you want to do anyway. They can't really say anything back to you. The endless corporate chain trained them to bend over backwards or else. And you know that. That's why you do it. They're scared witless to lose their jobs. Threaten them with that anytime you can. You're the king, remember?

You're not crazy. You're right. And you're out to prove it. You know exactly how people should act in your presence. Mostly, you want service NOW. You have things to do. You have a life.

The only thing you know is your base emotions. And goddamnit you just don't have time for this waiting patiently in a long line to ring up your purchases. Why are they doing this to you? If they would only do what you think they should do, this wouldn't be happening to you. You're mad. Mad as hell.

You should tap your foot and stare at them. Spit on them if you're close enough.

It's your world. Yup. Just yours.

At the end of the day, the person you're yelling at is in the mirror. Face it. What you're so busy trying to control is beyond your control. All your frustrations and angers and hates go right back into you. Or at least, that's what some people are hoping...This thought alone makes Anonymous Sales Associate feel good. The fact that if there is a hell, you might be going there. That brings much comfort to the Anonymous Sales Associate.

Better yet, Anonymous Sales Associate hopes that one day you might walk out of your own personal hell and stop spreading it like a disease and hopes one day you can stop being such a fucking prick. That's what he/she hopes for you. Because Anonymous Sales Associate doesn't want to hate you like you hate them. But you're making it hard. Really really really hard.

Stop it. Just. Stop. It.