I'm feeling kinda bleh about my world lately. This acknowledgement is upsetting.
I know not everything is happy and roses all the time, but I only know that intellectually. The real true person in me says why not?
I feel drowned by work right now. Outside of it, I feel unproductive and lethargic. This acknowledgement is upsetting. I'm not sure how to fix that.
I quit caffeine yesterday. Perhaps I'll actually have more energy. Give my adrenal glands a break. I want to be as pure as possible; I want to see what that mountaintop looks like.
Dave and I are ttc. That's shorthand on pregnancy forums for trying to conceive. I am seriously absolutely rip-roaring ecstatic, like so happy I want to eat my arm. Cross your fingers for us. Send up a prayer.
I have a life in San Diego. Exhibit A? My weekend. Friday after work we met old friends of ours from AZ who now live in Del Mar who we once went to a party with when we first moved here. We met them at Dave and Busters for their friend's b-day party. Our other friend, Remy, who was a groomsmen in our wedding, who recently moved to San Diego for a job, he met us there too.
On Saturday after work, Dave and I met with my friend from the book club and her husband at a cutesy putoosie place in Little Italy for a scrumptitious Italian dinner of wine and pasta. We like totally clicked on our double date and we're ecstatic to have couple friends here!
On Sunday, my cousin invited me to a Chargers game. My first EVER pro-football game. I took the trolley in and her and I enjoyed the blatant displays of testosterone and the sunshine. The Chargers beat the Dolphins. For a second there, surrounding by the screaming masses, I kind of cared.
I think we're gunna be o.k. here.
7 comments:
so you are all at sixes & sevens, well join the world dear... we are all confused as to how we feel most of the time.
Why not indeed. Take care of yourself.
I felt like that when I was trying to conceive and working too hard. I think there comes a time after marriage and before kids when some people look around and need to assess their lives. It's hard sometimes. Don't let this drag on too long. If it doesn't go away by itself, you may want to get some help.
I love that you are so positive about all these new things! It can be super overwhelming going through all these changes. New home, new city, new marriage... I think you are handling it all really well. I have always loved your strength. It is something I have always admired in my dear sister. Soon, mom will be there to share in this joy. I love every piece of you!
Ever so much good luck on trying to conceive . . I'm praying for you . . real hard. Have fun practising though, won't you! Big hugs to you across the miles!!
I think you're gonna be okay. At least I hope you are because I'm running at the same pace these days it seems. Like I'm going a mile a minute in the slow lane.
Good luck ttc. I know that can be stressful. I'm sure everyone else has said this to you, and I'm sure that it is probably the hardest thing to do, but HAVE FUN!
Seriously.
So you feel out of sorts, but you have lots a good stuff going on? Is that what has you down? Or we're you just trying to focus on the positive since you aren't feeling so?
I agree, try to have fun TTC because too much pressure equals no baby or at least unnecessary stress!
I guess TTC also should be your motivator to make art and write because this will be hard to balance when baby is here (or at least for me it has been). Not working is helping me feel balanced and that's the sad truth. I really can't do it all. Hard to face, you know?
thanks for all your well ttc wishes! hopefully we'll stay stress free. no coffee has helped relax me a bit and perhaps starting some yoga next week. i've been lazy. obviously. per blog :-).
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